One Month Ago

One month ago yesterday, we lost Anthony.

The pain is still very raw for his family and close friends. As much as we can intellectually grasp that he is gone, our hearts can't seem to catch up to this reality. We ache to hear his voice and see his handsome face. We spend sleepless nights thinking about him. We close our eyes and see his incredibly large and ridiculously contagious smile. We see him in our dreams, waking up willing to give anything in the world to touch him and feel him and smell him again.

We remember sitting next to him in the hospital bed, waiting for the moments when the nurses were not in the room adjusting his IVs or administering medications. Because in those moments, alone with him, we could talk to him intimately, stroke his face and kiss his hands. All this, knowing that somewhere, behind all the tubes and cords and tape and machines, that he could hear us. We told him he wasn't alone, we told him how much we loved him, we prayed over his body. We said our goodbyes.

We try hard to focus on the good times . We try to comfort ourselves with the knowledge that he is in a better place; but struggle to feel closure when there are so many unanswered questions. Not only do we mourn the loss of having Amp in our lives; but we we mourn for all the people that he had not yet met. We mourn their loss as well, because he had so many more lives he was going to touch. So many more people that were going to benefit from knowing him and his gentle and caring soul.

The world, not just us, lost something rare and incredible on July 2, 2008.

Please, if you have the means, donate to the Anthony Eugene Gay Fund/Foundation so that Anthony's memory stays alive and he can continue to make a difference in this world.

In addition, if anyone has any information on what happened on July 29, 2008 please contact police at 859-258-3600 or email justiceforanthony@gmail.com.